I stand here today knowing that exactly a week ago, I was sitting on the plane going back home staring at my laptop screen with zero clue of how to start. I was talking with some of my teammates about what my prefect speech could be about, and I had originally planned to maybe write about love, being the day before Valentine's Day and all. But then I was thinking it over, and I decided, I don't want to do that. I don't want to talk about love when I haven't the slightest clue how to see myself, let alone dictate how you see others.
I've settled on talking to you about how you see me, instead. Because let's be real, I've always been an academic weapon. My entire life, I've prided myself on being smart; with school and academics being something that just came easy to me. People called me perfect at my every turn, and I've soaked it up like a sponge. But looking back on it, I've decided that I don't want to be thought of as perfect. Because perfection is a myth. And the truth is, I've struggled.
One of the hardest setbacks I've faced this year was finding out I was going to be on the junior volleyball team for another year. I watched as my friends moved up as I stayed back. It felt like a real failure - like I wasn't enough. And being labeled "perfect" only made it worse because suddenly, it wasn't just me expecting greatness from myself-everyone else did too.
Being considered "perfect" just made it feel worse when I wasn't.
But in the end, I adapted. Staying on Junior wasn't what I had planned, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed. I adjusted to the change, and honestly? Looking back now, I think I ended up in the better place for me.
I've played games that challenged me, shared laughs that I wouldn't trade for anything, and built friendships I might not have otherwise. But more than anything, I grew. I grew not just as a volleyball player, but as a person. I learned that success isn't about where you expect to be-it's about what you make of where you are. And sometimes, the unexpected path turns out to be the best one.
But before I could appreciate any of that, I had to shift my mindset. At first, I saw staying on Junior as a setback—proof that I wasn't good enough. I felt like I had fallen short of what was expected of me, both by others and by myself. But the more I leaned into the experience, the more I realized something: trying to be "perfect" was holding me back from actually enjoying the game. I was so focused on living up to an image that I almost forgot why I loved playing in the first place.
I'm not sharing this because I want sympathy. I'm sharing it because everyone has their own battles, even if you can't see them. We all fail, we all doubt ourselves, and we all feel like we're falling short sometimes. And that's okay.
LeBron James once said, "You have to accept failure to be better." That stuck with me because, at the end of the day, the letters in "perfect" can be rearranged to spell "prefect." I was never meant to be perfect - was meant to lead, learn, and grow. And maybe that's what truly makes me the prefect I am today.