Student Life
Life @ SC

Seek your ladder

By Annie L., Grade 12
When I started writing this speech, I had no idea what I wanted to write about. Would I write the cliché speech about how Stanstead has changed my life, or about how to get involved in student activities as an introvert or about something else entirely? I completely and utterly could not make up my mind about what I wanted my statement to the school to be. When I started to reflect on the past four years of my life, I thought back to prefect orientation, and Mr. Marino's words echoed in my ears: "Be real. Don't try to impress others by saying something you don't truly mean." So, I will do just that. I'm going to be real with you right now and share some of my struggles and how I am overcoming them.
For as long as I can remember, I've been very perceptive, noticing the little changes in others around me. Maybe someone smiled when they saw a friend but looked down when they saw me. They avoided me, shot down my ideas or even laughed to their friends after making a comment to me. Over time, this behaviour started to make me feel bad about myself. Was I really someone to be avoided? Others' negative behaviour became the norm, and I began to truly believe that it was deserved, starting a downward spiral into constant anxiety and worry. For years, I was worried about how I was perceived by others, just trying my best to be average, blend in and be completely unnoticeable. 

For a long time, I tried my best to hide these worries, as I couldn't possibly bear to put a burden on somebody else, just because I couldn't handle the comments from a few other kids. However, what I slowly came to realize was that I needed to take the step to ask for help. If I never took this step, my mental state would never get any better, as it's impossible to get out of the hole you dug yourself into unless you ask someone on the outside for a ladder. 

So this summer, I decided to ask for this ladder. I talked to my doctor, and after a period of time, we discovered what my best course of action was. Some people can improve with medication, some with therapy and others with a mix of both. I am still learning how to deal with my feelings of anxiety, but I am grateful that I have found people that truly care and want to help me succeed. 

If I could give one piece of advice to someone else going through the same struggles, I would say to ask for and use your own ladder. In doing so, you will find that small mistakes don't matter five years from now, as the Earth continues to spin in the same way.


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